Showing posts with label Kenya. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kenya. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

This Chic: Opening up conversations with debate conditioned Kenyans.

 I watched a TV Talkshow last week about 'Why the modern woman cannot seem to find love'

The poll question wanted the audience to text back and say who they thought was responsible for failed relationships. Men or women?

Yeah.

They asked that.

Anyway.

I watched the show, on youtube because one of the guests is a girl from my village, Nyambura Mundia.

This girl, I met when I was probably in class seven and she was in class four and someone pointed out to her as the girl who had beat my cousin at Poetry Recitals. Or it was something impressive like that because my cousin was a boy and taking all the public speaking and recital medals home.

When I saw her the next time, I remember taking a really good look at her. I had not seen anything like that in the whole of Endarasha. 

The self-confidence. 

She walked like the whole world was waiting on her to arrive. Step by step like she had bodyguards around her. Like she had an important mission and it didn't matter that she was a woman, she was the only one commissioned to deliver it.

I should say I had goosebumps but I didn't, I was just intrigued. It was my first time to observe a person in a Zen state. To make it more interesting, she was a dark child. And in Endarasha, you were beautiful only if you were light-skinned. Yet, unless your genes came from very strong brown-skinned people, the frost in my village bit your skin until you were a nice shade of dark blue. So of course, any light-skinned person was actually, yellow yellow not just earth brown.

But I could tell that this girl had no such whims.

I met this girl, later on, 100 years later, in my estate. She had the same walk. We had never been introduced so, I just let her walk past and later on Facebook suggested her as a friend and I accepted.

She is the Host of Swaiba Podcast, an open space for women to discuss issues that matter.

As the TV show proceeded, I kept thinking to myself. Is anyone listening to this woman? Can't they follow her flow of thought and realise that she is simply opening up the conversation?

My friend once commented that Kenyans lack conversation skills and I wondered 'ai, what do you mean? Kenyan's love to talk.'

Yes, Kenyans love to talk and hear their own voices, but it's rare to find a Kenyan who listens.

I guess that is why we have a had time discussing issues like mental health, relationships, violence, career and even finances.

Every topic is turned into a debate.

 Every idea is contended.

Very few people are willing to just have a discussion and let the conversation take any direction.

"I must win."

Is probably what some are thinking whenever a topic arises.

Why can't we just, have conversations? Where if you are right it's okay, if you are wrong it's okay but let's keep talking.

But if we continue to base every chat on our past beliefs and experiences, we lose out on so much because the dialogue is blocked.

As an infp personality type, I crave deep conversations and connecting with people on a mental, emotional and intellectual level. An achievement of that is at the top of my Maslow Hierarchy pyramid.

I wish Mwari wa Mundia all the best in her next session, may you remain as calm as you have.



You are welcome to join in the random tea chats I have on Instagram from time to time. 

CLICK HERE

or  HERE

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

The Fatherless Race: My mummy was a lioness, "I have a lioness inside me that I keep on a tight leash."

"Are you taking my picture?" Asked Mummy.
"No, it's the books behind you," I said.

Then she took out her phone and took a picture of me, then I took one with her phone,
Then we just sat.
She had had a horrid morning at her bank.
After 32 years slaving away at physically draining job her savings earnings and benefits had found their way into someone's online account and vanished.
She said she had reported it.
I didn't pry
But she got sorrowful day by day
Until they told me pneumonia had taken her life.
My mother had lost her life.


When my mother went on retirement, she had two major plans. She was going to relocate to the USA and she had everything laid out. I thought it was hilarious but many conversations after I realised nothing would stop her.

I guess the moment came after she had renewed her driving license. I thought man, this woman is set.
And knowing her spirit, the same stubborn spirit I have inherited, I took her shopping for thermal heat preserving vests in preparation for winter.

Then she said to me, do you think this phone will help you in your work?  I said yeah but don't feel you have to. She loved her phone so giving it up would mean a better offer was out there, in Trump's kingdom.

The last time I met my mother, she was late than our agreed time.
So I asked her to meet me in Kikuyu town. I wanted her opinion deciding a location for Cisster Salon. She said she was tired so We went to crave kitchen.


My mother loves fine things. She was blown away, she said the chefs were dressed right, the decor must have been done by an international designer and insisted the owner could not be local. I pointed Tom out.

She said: haiya that one with dreads?
She looked around and said she wanted to have a look at the toilet. She came back grinning saying how awesome the place was but would I stop telling her to have the soup Coz she only wanted another mug of tea if I would buy it?
I should have asked if she wanted another samosa.
We talked.
She had had a horrific experience at equity bank that morning.
I didn't probe
But now that she is dead and I have had a look at her documents.. It's no wonder she only wanted tea that day. Me, I would have collapsed right away.

I have been feeling like I'm gonna get blown away anytime now.
It's a feeling I have never had before.
Losing the only parent I have pains a lot.


Losing my mother now, this year on top of everything else just proves how ruthless Satan is.
Satan has no mercy.
But my friend wrote a blog post for me:
https://pattikay.blogspot.com/2019/10/a-tribute-to-dead-tree.html


My mother's back up plan was to try farming. She was gonna buy a big tank and store water. Then she would look after grandmother.
 I know she would have raised a couple of dogs as well.

Today I'm thankful for the time I spent with mummy in the short time she was on retirement. She made effort to come see me and reassure me. She embraced vulnerability when she accepted my offer to take her to the dentist in August. She was scared of dentists.
I laughed when she said after ' ah ona rītiuma na ruo.' Then she gave me a thousand Bob to pick up my aunt arriving from the village.
I thought it was a bribe for my silence, not to say she was scared of a tooth extraction.

But this is for a short while. I know my mother will get up in future.
Meanwhile, I will try and get some rest.
I will follow up what my mother tried to resolve before death caught up with her. When my anger subsides.
I am angry at a debased society that preys on its defenseless members.
I'm angry at a society that discards it's members when their value has diminished.
I am angry at this old world, and I hate it. May your kingdom come please.
I am assured of one thing though:
Psalms 37:10

Just a little while longer, and the wicked will be no more;You will look at where they were,And they will not be there.

Jehovah will soon undo every injustice that we have suffered in satan's wicked world.
Isaiah 65:17
The former things will not be called to mind.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Three reasons you should put Diani beach on your bucket list


Diani Beach along the Kenyan Coast has been described as a tired traveler’s resting point.
While it boasts a clean, white sand beach and clear blue waters like many beaches around the world, it adds to its attraction by being placed in a peaceful, modern and green town. On one side, you can go clubbing in the bustling town, on the other end you can decide to watch the sunset with the sound of oncoming waves in your ears.
There are, however, three major attractions that deserve exclusive mention:
Where The Congo River meets the Sea

The Kongo river comes down from the Shimba Hills, located North East of Kenya. As the massive river makes its the way through villages and smaller towns, quiet valleys and earth’s hidden crooks, it finally comes to the mangrove forest that fences the Sea’s edges. Any silt collected from its journeys is filtered, to ensure that, only a clean, clear river meets the salty sea. It is a beauty to watch when the river comes rushing in, and on one side, the waves clapping their hands to receive the newcomer.
If you have never swum in a river, then here is a good opportunity. You can swim in the river all day without the fear of getting drowned. You will no doubt be exhilarated to feel the current rush you into the salty waters ahead. There is ample packing on the beach too next to the Kongo Mosque.
All along the beach, you will find boat services to go deep-sea diving, snorkeling or simply a tour of the seas. Grab the chance to observe creation in its natural underworld.

Variety of Resorts and Cottages
In the last few years, The Kenya Tourism industry has upped its game in the provision of safe, secure and global standards of tourism amenities. As such, the standard of accommodation you will find on Diani beach will be what you bargained for and a bag of chips. You can make a booking online for transport and accommodation. There are numerous Airbnb available as well as cottages for rent for a night, a weekend and even up to a month.
For the international traveler, you will find that the local hotels are well equipped to handle your requests as they come. To increase flexibility, you can either chose to hire a car or utilize uber services. Shorter distances can be accessed via three sitter vehicles called Tuk-Tuks.

When you hire a cottage, you have the option to cook your own food, which brings us to the next wonderful point.

Diani Beach Town Mall
As much as you are out in nature getting earthed, you may want to come out on an evening and take a stroll through the town. In its smooth, a laidback style common to coastal towns, you will be able to have a slight glimpse of local culture. If you are adventurous to try the street food, it comprises of fried fish, roasted peanuts and deep fried potatoes ( viazi karai).

At the market, you will get fresh produce Carrots, potatoes, peas, tomatoes, and onions can be had as you take in the vibrant energy that gives life to a market. The Naivas shopping Mall hosts among others, a large supermarket, an electronics shop, as well as a wine shop. Now you have your supplies, grab a tuk-tuk and go back and cook out a storm.
Why not have a barbecue by the pool if your cottage provides one?
Certainly, there is much to be had by visiting Diani beach this holiday season.



Sunday, June 11, 2017

5 phrases you should drop this month

Mambo ni mengi


 I hate the above phrase. what does it even mean? Things are many? Is that even correct grammer?
Whenever someone says - mambo ni mengi- to me I don't exactly get an urge to punch them, but the feeling is close to that. I get annoyed. If you don't want to tell me you problems, don't, honestly I don't care that much.
 Just tell me you don't want to, I'll be happy not knowing.
But, mambo ni mengi makes me feel like you want me to probe,
you want me to beg you tell me what is wrong
 you want me to stop what I'm doing and engage you in small talk, as I try to find out which things are many.
That is why I walk away, then you say sinanga mzigo. Of course I won't carry unnecessary burdens.
 In fact I will avoid any burdens I don't have to carry, things are many for me too.
 So, things are many are yours. I don't want to hear.

Tunang'ang'ana

 Who is not? Life is hard as it is. We are all trying very hard to find where the 90 bob soko ugali is left. Where they
 don't ask us to pay 5 bob for the plastic bag. Yes, we are all ng'ang'anaing. All of us, not just here in Kenya. In Tanzania,
 in Oman, in DRC, in Zanzibar and everywere else Kiswahili is spoken.
 When I ask how you are and you say you are wrestling. I want to ask you what are you are wrestling exactly. It brings to mind WWF
 which we used to watch on Sundays after church. I'm wondering if what you are wrestling looks like The Rock or Bret Hit man Hart.
You are wrestling and you still can afford to eat pizza once a week. Ama that's because unga ya ugali imepotea sana?
When you say unag'ang'ana. I think that maybe you have a chronic illness we can't talk about right now. Or maybe you have
 an Equity loan you have been paying back and now your salary is only good enough for rent.


Tunahustle tu

Is a phrase that is only separated from the above by a consideration of the demographics.
People born between 1983-1990 use this phrase.  1982 and in to the 70's are the ones who are perpetially wrestling. But these hustlers,they are always hustling or they have a side hustle.
 Their job is a hustle, getting into town is a hustle, making time to  chill out with friend is a hustle, unless it is to discuss what next hustle might bring in some cash.
Kuhustle, is okay, it shows you are occupied, you get respected for being busy.


Umepotea
 When someone calls and says to me 'umepotea' that becomes the end of the conversation. I am lost. Okay. So shall we start a sing song game?
 No, it's you who is lost
 No No, it's you
Aaai,,, me I'm not lost
Even me I'm not lost, you are one who is lost.
Give me a few minutes to sob, if this goes on I'll die. I will.


You know, if you calculate the life expectancy of a Kenyan female and consider that I have lived over three decades,
 you will realise there is a lot more we could talk about instead of this lost and found push and pull I'd rather not participate.
 We could talk about the impressive size of the Monarch butterfly's brain in relation to the
 miles it covers in migration. Then maybe we shall stop worrying about who is lost. A monarch butterfly's life might be in danger at this moment
 and here we are speeding the dial of my life expectancy. Do you realise if I had a child now the likelihood of seeing him graduate from high school is 37%.

Hello my friend, I haven't seen you in a  while. What is different in the world you live in?


Kunyeshewa nayo....


I was opening some social media accounts for a client. He was concerned about the type of traffic we could attract to the site.
"You have to be selective about the people you invite,sio watu wa kunyeshewa nayo.." he said.
He is  a Trump supporter and not a man to tell jokes so work came to a stop, it was just the perfect explanation for how content should be package. If you are gonna say something, please, put a little thought in it will you? I wonder how many people I would cross out of my social media
accounts if  I ever used the stated criteria.

This nayo.. phrase is too saturated in Nairobians' vocabulary. It only sounds like a real statement when Cess  Mutungi says it. Cess can say anything without sounding like an idiot.

Two Nairobians meet by accident at Kencom. They have not met in the last one year. Let us listen in on their catching up speech:

Umepotea?
Mambo ni mengi
Kunyeshewa nayo..
Kung'ang'ana tu
Enyewe tunahustle.
both of you, go home already okay?



Friday, November 11, 2016

Commuter Train Route # 8hours plus- How I slept in the bus



I don’t , well, hardly ever sleep in the bus. I don’t like to talk either, I prefer to stare into the dark and and wonder how many more books I will get to read before I’m 45 at this rate.

So when I got on the bus last week, going on a 8 hour trip, I was ready to zoom out. I didn’t have the window seat so I would make the best out of it by just breathing.

 But the woman behind me wanted to talk.
She claimed she had long legs and needed more space and can I stop acting like I paid Sh 1500 while the rest of them paid Sh 950. I ignored her. She started to hit my chair saying I would not sleep unless she was comfortable. The woman opposite said to her- “please, just lean back your chair as well, that’s how the seats are meant to be.”

She said she was pregnant.

My seat mate stood up to look, and seeing no stomach put back her seat belt and slept.
I said to the  drama queen to go and report to the conductor, coz really, there was nothing for me to do.
 She stood up and went  to the front in a huff.
 I’m told the conductor ignored her.
 She came back and hit on my chair again. 

She was hurling insults and saying this world is full of selfish people. 
 
I wanted to stand up and tell her what I had in my mind.
Which was, I had murdering cramps. My hormones were all over the place and if she thought being pregnant was a bother, she needed to take a look at my face. I had had a long, stressful day and would have preferred to be in my bed with a hot water bottle on my back.

Her traveling companions asked her to change seats and she refused.

‘ I paid for this seat, I will sit here!’

They were feeling embarrassed for the scene she was causing.
She said she was tall. I thought to myself, 'I am a tall girl too.'

I didn’t see her point at all. When you have periods you only see the sharp points bursting on the bridge of your nose like it's Diwali.

I could also have challenged her to a fight coz my Testerone levels were quite high.

But I  closed my eyes and decided to do nothing at all. Until another self respecting woman, came and kindly asked me if I could level up my seat a bit. I did and went back to pretending I was asleep, until I fell asleep. 

Then got up many hours later to rummage through my bag for panadols. One of them rolled on the floor of the bus.
I slept again until I was awaken at the destination.

5 ways to say, "My mother died. " For those currently or constantly grieving.

 On a random Thursday, when you get to work, you will find Clara distributing cupcakes at the coffee machine. Banana cupcakes, and you will ...