Commuter Train Route # 8hours plus- How I slept in the bus

I don’t , well, hardly ever sleep in the bus. I don’t like to talk either, I prefer to stare into the dark and and wonder how many more books I will get to read before I’m 45 at this rate.

So when I got on the bus last week, going on a 8 hour trip, I was ready to zoom out. I didn’t have the window seat so I would make the best out of it by just breathing.

 But the woman behind me wanted to talk.
She claimed she had long legs and needed more space and can I stop acting like I paid Sh 1500 while the rest of them paid Sh 950. I ignored her. She started to hit my chair saying I would not sleep unless she was comfortable. The woman opposite said to her- “please, just lean back your chair as well, that’s how the seats are meant to be.”

She said she was pregnant.

My seat mate stood up to look, and seeing no stomach put back her seat belt and slept.

I said to the  drama queen to go and report to the conductor, coz really, there was nothing for me to do.

 She stood up and went  to the front in a huff.

 I’m told the conductor ignored her.

 She came back and hit on my chair again. 

She was hurling insults and saying this world is full of selfish people. 

 

I wanted to stand up and tell her what I had in my mind.

Which was, I had murdering cramps. My hormones were all over the place and if she thought being pregnant was a bother, she needed to take a look at my face. I had had a long, stressful day and would have preferred to be in my bed with a hot water bottle on my back.

Her traveling companions asked her to change seats and she refused.

‘ I paid for this seat, I will sit here!’

They were feeling embarrassed for the scene she was causing.

She said she was tall. I thought to myself, 'I am a tall girl too.'

I didn’t see her point at all. When you have periods you only see the sharp points bursting on the bridge of your nose like it's Diwali.

I could also have challenged her to a fight coz my Testerone levels were quite high.

But I  closed my eyes and decided to do nothing at all. Until another self respecting woman, came and kindly asked me if I could level up my seat a bit. I did and went back to pretending I was asleep, until I fell asleep. 

Then got up many hours later to rummage through my bag for panadols. One of them rolled on the floor of the bus.
I slept again until I was awaken at the destination.

This chic: Regular conversations about regular guys

“So what kind of a guy do you like?” She asks me and I only have two seconds to decide if it’s the truth or the story.

"if he isn't wearing socks, his feet can't be that bad to look at"

‘Um,,, I used to like tall dark and handsome, now I am not sure. Wait, I like… no. I guess I need to know someone first then I decide if I like the way he looks or not.’

“Eh? Ama it’s coz you are older now?”

‘I think so.’ (and I am scrolling down my ‘guys folder’ to point out a specific feature I like in a guy. Nothing comes up)

“Me,I like well groomed nails, she smiles. It’s the first thing I notice in guys.”

I laugh and she continues.

“Then I like guys who make their presence felt.  Not rude guys, guys who will not let people poke fun at me when we are walking in the street. You know they are some guys you can be walking together and you meet a group of roughies and you are the one telling them- keep off? The chances of being beaten up, both of you is very high.”

‘I know what you mean.’

‘Tell me about your recent crush, how does he look like?’’

(oh no, I am not ready to confess.  This topic is getting out of hand)

‘What he looks like or what I like about him?’ I buy time.

“How does he look like?”

‘He is a kawaida guy. Not tall.’

“You mean he’s short?”

‘Not very short.’

“Like Mark’s height?”

‘Mark is tall.’

“Gosh Cecilia, that means he’s shorter than you are.”

‘Yes.’

“And you don’t mind that?”

‘Haha, It never occurred to me. He also doesn’t have much hair.’

 “You mean he’s bald!?”

‘Not bald, just he doesn’t have much hair on him.’

“Kwani he’s like how old? Over 50?”

(this is the nearest I will come to confessing.)

‘If I tell you he is younger than me will you think I like younger men?’

“He is not even twenty seven and is balding? That is, sooo, weird.”

‘I think it’s because I have too much hair on me and when I don’t shave my legs I look like a very hairy goat. I think I have enough hair for both of us.’

“I like hair on a man’s arms. But I hate when a guy doesn’t wear a vest and then a button opens and then it’s as if he was hiding an animal under his shirt.” she says meditatively and gives me a few examples. I call her weird.

‘He doesn’t wear socks.’ I hear myself say.

 “What? Why?”

(why did I have to say that! Now I have to explain) “I mean, like if  it's a casual do and he's got on his, Hush puppies or Clarks he just throws on a sweater and no socks.”

“So you mean to say, when you meet a guy for the first time, there is nothing that strikes you about them until you know them?”

‘Not always, but I need to talk to them first. He could be the darkest shade of night but if he has no content I won’t think much of him.’

“Wait, you like very dark guys?”

‘Yup.’

“Dark like K’Ogelo or South Sudan?”

‘K’ Ogelo.’

“You don’t like white guys then?”

‘Ok. It depends. Can he hold a conversation without reverting to the race issue? I’m black you are white, it’s a fact now can we move on to other interests?’

“How about light guys?”

“Light guys like Musila yes. Lighter. No.”

“Why?” She is clearly shocked.

‘Don’t say I said this but, light guys I have met, have the same attitude as light skinned chics who have always been told they are the most beautiful girl in the village.’

“I also prefer dark guys, if they are black”

 We laugh and take a sip of the bone soup they gave us for 10 O’clock tea, and get back to sorting the onions.

pictures borrowed. and here are two regular songs, about regular relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKr9m7-MyLE
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65RGzDyTHFc

Finding God- That time I got saved

I was always curious about getting saved and being able to say bwana asifiwe (praise the lord) to people. So one time while visiting relatives in the city, I walked to a church that preached in Kikuyu. 

The preacher called out for all that wanted to make Jesus their personal saviour to come to the front.

I walked to the platform.  All my relatives were Catholic so no one would recognise me I was sure. I had hoped to get a convulsion when the preacher laid hands on me, that would have been epic. I didn’t, but another woman who had accepted the Lord to take control of her life started to pray out loud and clap. The preacher was pleased and while he turned his attention to her, I walked back to my seat.

When I got home I told one of  the house-help ladies that I was now saved. She wasn’t catholic , she stroked my cheeck and said – Kaniso, you are now forgiven, you have made Jesus very happy.

The man of the house heard and he wondered out loud what a standard five child knew about salvation.

I was pissed. 

I was angry for his judgement of me. I had made a step closer to God, and he was saying it didn’t matter? I was sure he was wrong.

children know more than they let out, actually.

The whole of me was trembling. I had got up the courage to walk in front of a church full of strangers, and confess that I was a sinner and hoped to be forgiven and make reforms in my life, and here was an adult weighing my actions on his little  palm and trashing them? I had proof that God knew I existed and cared about children. When I was little my granny and uncle would sing to me.

(Little children of long ago were brought to Jesus

But his disciples stopped them

Then Jesus said don’t stop them

And he told their mothers,

Let the children come to me

Because all children are loved by Jesus.)

I didn’t tell anybody at home that I was now saved. But I tried very much to read the Bible, say prayers and sing. I had decided my affair with God was my own business, and I would be in charge.

How to maintain your car cheaply in Kenya.

 As Australia launches its first self-driving car this month, over here we are still struggling with issues like how best to maintain a car cheaply, even as we watch and wait to see if Uber delivers on its promise to take us where Australia is. 

The real cost of a car is never a problem, the real problem is how to maintain this automobile. 2016 is a good year to own and drive a car as compared to former years. There are more dealers and new inventions and accessibility to cars have improved. But with this comes  another question, how to keep the costs at minimum. The average units of  new and used cars imported per month keeps increasing. 

Tips for First time car owners in Kenya

First time Kenyan car owners have been horrified by stories about engine knocks, brake failure and horrific accidents due to malfunction in the car system. So what is the worst that can happen to your car? And what measures should first time car owners take to ensure they enjoy the driving experience. 

Before buying a car, shop around to know what car best suits your needs. An informed decision will help you know whether to buy a 800CC-1300CC engine powered car or a 1500CC to 2000CC. This is because engine capacity differs depending on the use. A small engine is suitable for short routes, like everyday driving to work.

 If you are buying a commercial vehicle, one trick is to find out what the competition is using and not be afraid to copy them. This is not to mean that you follow the crowd, but at times, what has been tested will give better results.

How do I maintain my car in good shape?

Ever heard the phrase where there is smoke there is a fire? It applies to cars as well. Here is where all you senses come to play. You heard an unusual sound as you were driving, have it checked out. Fluid leaked from underneath the car, trace the source and have it fixed. Listen to your car and let your mechanic know if you have heard anything unusual. Otherwise a physical appraisal may not reveal all the issues you may be experiencing.

You have heard of people who name their cars, Cherrie, Teresa, and Daisy. They are not freaks. A car is like a woman in many ways. For it to shine and glow and treat you well, it needs tender loving care.

Some tender loving care for your car involves:

• Tire pressure check
• Coolant Level Check
• Engine Oil check

Learn to do maintenance ask at home.

You do not have to know about all cars to be able to fix a few problems.  Every vehicle comes with a manual, don’t ignore it, it will give you an idea of the basic principles of looking after your car. This can greatly reduce the amount of cash that changes hands between you and your mechanic each month. Fuel filters, spark plugs, brake pads, oil and air filters are routine checks that you can do at home. Remember this, Google is your friend. In this age of high internet connectivity and smart forms, you can be able to get anything from how to change your windshield wipers in 10 minutes to how to change the fuses in my car tutorials.

You can also jumpstart your battery at home, and if it needs replacing, learn how to do it instead of paying for it. For ladies, learn to replace a flat. You don’t need to call a mechanic for this. Save that cash and buy some nice seat covers.

 Engine oil is also not as complicated and messy, you only need the right equipment, latex gloves, and plenty of space and you are good to go.